Last year, I conducted a study on the role of Hiya in the communication anxiety of high-risks and at risks college students. It included a very small sample of informants from various colleges in Manila, however, the qualitative nature of the research provided me rich and thick descriptions on the causes, implications of communication anxiety as influenced by the the support that they receive from others. This afternoon, I had a great time discussing this with an interested MA student, who also happens to be my colleague.
Yet, I realized that support, in contrast with the rejection, embarrassment, shameful conditions or demeaning experiences that students have had, is a vital component that could alleviate one's low self esteem. The study led me to understand that those students included in the sample do not really have high-anxiety, but only have low-confidence. Here, anxiety is not equated to having lack of confidence or the absence of it, but merely having a low level of anxiety. If these students have been given adequate support, not really too much of it to spoil them, they could have developed their needed confidence or higher level of confidence to be communicating effectively with others.
Support begins in the family and this is reinforced in the schools. A child's esteem is developed through the social interactions that they have engaged with. But this esteem can be violated or averred by some incidences associated to shame. In the family, acceptance, support, genuine concern and affection are vital to affect one's self-esteem. There were students who reported of being hated, unwanted by their siblings or parents, or vice versa feeling ashamed of them. They scored to have low to moderate anxieities in approaching various contexts of communication.
On a personal note, I myself have a plenty of reasons to be anxious, to stay away from people, to shut my doors from interaction, to render myself in isolation. My family was poor, who can not send me to school, I did not have a normal set of teeth that was a reason why I was bullied as a skid. I looked like a lizard because I was so thin. I didn't have the best clothes, shoes or school paraphernalias. When I was a teenager, I was bullied because of my feminine tendencies. But I grew up to be a well-esteemed man.
Many of the embarrassing experiences that the students haved had remain in their memory and are reified to affect their commuinicative behavior in the classroom or in their school. Thus, they inhibit themselves from speaking out their ideas, particularly when using English, because they know they are not so good about it, and that they associate the feeling of embarassment that they may get to the previous shameful incidences they have had.Teachers and students alike are contributors to a student's embarassment.
I didn't get much encouragement from my teachers, but I looked at their cynicism to my potential as great challenges to make me better. I was blacklisted to my teachers at several times, from my elementary days and in my college years, for many unacceptable and invalid preconceived ideas or impressions that they have had about me. Fortunately I was not defeated by the maltreatment I got from my "mentors".
Communication is essential to the learning process. Students who inhibit their selves from communicating openly, because of their debilitating fears or anxieties, can never get much of the interactions going on in thier learning years. The more, they will be cajoled and bullied, the more they will be anxious. In this case, teachers have an important role in affirming the students, and in averting such situations to happen.
I do not owe, who I am now to myself alone. Neither do I credit destiny for what I have become. I owe many people for my achievements, most of them are the beautious women in my life, my mom, my sisters, my aunt. They have all affirmed me that I can make a great difference in my life and in others' life. They were there through all the tough times that could simply break me down into ruins. They were my support systems.
Support systems are means that go well with the intent of affirming students. This is not to condition their minds and behavior, but rather bring them into the experience of active learning wherein they can truly benefit. My pervent prayer is that I get to become a supportive mentor to inspire my students to achieve their potentials and to transform into the best of who they can be.
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