I didn't know there is this special day for singles to be aware that they are singles. Gosh! It's celebrated during Valentine's Day. I realized this contemporary phenomenon when I greeted my students this morning, a happy valentine's day. One replied, "Sir it's single's awareness day".
It makes sense really, because this commercialized occasion points to the face of those who are not into dating, that they are single. But, does that mean they should be finding some ways to get into a relationship?
My status is kind of complicated. To some people, when they learn of my age, they would ask me why am I not married. I would ask them back "why? or "what's the matter with being single?". Then, they would reply that I ought to get married so I can be happy.
Non sequitur! In this world, there is a rising statistics of divorce, annulment, polygamy, bigamy, infidelity, adultery, marital rape, domestic violence between partners. I do not advocate the aboliton of marriage, but marriage is not a guarantee to one's happiness. There are also those in monogamous relationship who regret engaging into such commitment.
I am convinced that the sanctity of marriage is in the commitment between partners to love each other as long as they live (or as long as they can)? The commitment to love, fidelity, loyalty and support to each other only manifest in grace. That's the mystery in a relationship, but not everyone is designed for marriage.
Happiness in life is not also guaranteed in getting into a relationship. It is not in the relationship, but in the love that you share with a partner. Happiness is an experience not limited to human relationships. Happiness is making the best of who you are, where you are and what you have at any time and state of your life.
Consider the celibates. They relate with so many people and find happiness in their life. Consider the eunuchs, who in their celibacy also find happiness in life. Consider those who committed their lives into serving God, as brothers, nuns, and priests, or monks. They find their happinesss beyond human relationships bound by marriage.
Relationships are important, socially, physically and psychologically. Perhaps, happiness is also found in the relationship of one's person to himself in the context of living with the many others, and to that Eternal love.
To get into a relationship because you want to be happy is, for me, selfish. But to be in relationship with others because you want to make that person or persons happy is selfless, and that is love. Single people are capable of this and deserving to be happy in the state of life that they choose.
3 comments:
there's way too much pressure in getting into a relationship for the sake of not being seen by others as lonely, but in reality, being alone's not exactly lonely, so long as that person knows how to reach out & befriend others. it's very possible to even be lonelier when in an unfulfilling relationship... guess what i'm saying is that people should always strive to be happy whether involved with a special someone or not. and always, i say: nobody owes you happiness except yourself.
I'd have to agree with you, girl24. Life is what you make it.
"Then, they would reply that I ought to get married so I can be happy."
Anober! These people don't know how to count. How many married people are actually happily married anyway? I thought that that was the norm and then when I grew up, I realized that my parents were actually the abnormal ones because they get along so well. "Normal" married couples are miserable.
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