... and the last shall be the first

Good Friday. I was assigned to read for the second reading, the part of Peter and Pilate in the Gospel and the Prayers of the faithful. This has been the longest so far of my exposure as Lector in our Parish.

From the start, I only wanted to have my talents, my skills, put into good use for others, in whatever ways. I never wanted to be seated there in the first row, to be seen when I read behind the rostrum, to be privileged being first during the communion.

Once after reading, there was another lector who commended that I read so well. I was bothered, when it flashed to my mind a lesson I learned from our orientation about serving as a choir. For a choir, their aim in service is to make the people sing with them, make them feel God's presence through music. The comment would have not bothered me, if she told me, that God's word came so strong to her heart as I read. With that I knew it was not me at work.

When I chose to serve in the Ministry all I desired was to glorify God in what little I could do. I don't want any privilege extended to me in this world for what I could share.

Today, before the communion, there was the veneration of the cross. While I was thinking to have the people kiss the cross first, the other lector with me whispered that we should go first because there was a very long queue. He even asked the usherettes that favor.

Serving God is serving His people. That means clear to me that I am not in anyway unequal or of a higher stature to any of my fellow believers. But today, we were able to be first on that long queue. Afterwards we sat there and waited for the rest to finish.

Being there first to kiss the cross does not anyway make me any better as the rest of the sinners of this world. I remember an experiment I did some years ago, when I hosted my cousin's wedding reception. It was held just beside their Episcopalian church.

After the marriage rites, I knew people were so hungry, most of them wanted to be sat first near the buffet. I was watching the crowd as they got in. Those who were seated far back where the last to come in.

Being in control of the program and although I knew everyone was hungry, I opted to try that teaching "... and the last shall be the first". I told everyone after the prayer before meals that those tables in the back will be the first to approach the banquet.

It takes some discipline, conscience and consciousness to understand the humility of letting others be the first. Unlike in competitions, life can be really more fun if we know when and how to give each other the chances we all need or wanted. If everybody just wants to be first, and no one will give way to anyone, that would be really chaotic.

I tried the same teaching in fast food chains. I gave chance for others to be first especially if they are old, pregnant, with children. It feels so good. In the MRT, I'd rather have others get inside first, for I know the next train will have fewer passengers, when all the rest have taken their ride.

That I think was a crazy idea, but there is truth in it, that not all those who come first will be first, and not all those who come last will be the last. Our measures in this world are different from that of God's so we find this teaching really crazy, we all want to be first, we all want to be great, no one wants to be last. But Jesus did as he made himself least of us all.