Centering our Life

The center of our life should redirect us to appreciate our self and others, because that drives us to love who we are, who we care about and what we do. If we find our self alienated in a relationship or in any situation, the center doesn't hold balance to keep us in desirable motion. We need to find our self back and check our footing based on our personal life's center.
 

Naturally, our bodies operate through the command of the central nervous system. Every cell in our body has a center called nuclei, and every element of matter consists of central atoms. Physically, everything on the ground is pulled by a central force called gravity. The earth and all other planets in the solar system revolve around the sun due to the force coming from the center of that star. Galaxies have centers that hold everything together in the vastness of space where they hang. Socially, there are centers in which human activities flourish.

There are material evidences to the abstract concept of center applied to life, as I have described. That center seems to provide meaning, direction and substance to our thoughts, beliefs, words, feelings and actions.  Consider, kilometer zero. In geographical terms, it is a point of origin from which the distance and location of another point is measured. It's valued as zero. Thus, it is nothing numerically, yet it is so valuable in knowing where we are and finding where we want to go. The seemingly unnoticed center is conduit to who we really are.

Our centers, in a push and pull function, are vital to our life’s motions. Our psyche can be best understood through this center. Our identity also operates from the power of this center. The center is at the core and its power is transferred and projected as an energy that is perceivable and which could affect us and others we socially deal with. But what could this power in our psyche’s core be?

Values: our standards that guide our life, the worth we place on objects and subjects within and around us, and the virtue we hope to share with others we have to live with. These motivate us to define our life course, to behave in ways we do, to make important decisions, to choose words that we utter, to be mindful of others, and to be cognizant and responsible with our thoughts and actions. They are abstract concepts that only matter when we consider them to have worth.

Our aspirations, our dreams and our ambitions are mere projections of what we value in life. Our goals are but expressions of what lies in our psyche’s core. Our attitude towards others and towards situations in our life is also determined by our values. Our judgment of what we can perceive also find grounds on our held values. While our responses to life problems could be situational, our values act as gatekeepers in our decisions. Strongly held values become instinctive, while loosely held values don’t gain influence in human actions.

There are those who think dichotomously that values could be negative or positive, but it is a spectrum. There is a neutral value, neither nor. The degree varies. The mathematical representations of positive and negative values in the Cartesian plane have absolute representations in the calculations.

What is valuable in life ought to be positive. With that, life’s motion is in a constant positive spectrum. This is if we are after a good life. Values must be shared, if not we will be finding ourselves in difficult situations, going after different directions, and getting lost somewhere.  

When we value our self positively, we are able to love our self. When we value others equally as we do to our self, we are able to love them as we would with our own life. When we value life and value excellence, we strive to be the best of who we can be and be the best in what we can do. Then, we are esteemed by our actions. When we value collegiality and quality, we work with others productively and proactively to yield gains. Then we appreciate our efforts and so esteem our self. 

Values that we hold must be positive. We ought to value beauty and not vanity. We ought to value friendship over benefits. We ought to value time over idleness. We ought to value people over material things. We ought to value wealth and not money. We ought to value quality and not mere quantity. We ought to value character over uniqueness. We ought to value our voice over words.  We ought to value justice over fairness. We ought to value life, and in that we ought to value what is excellent and virtuous. 

As we keep our values intact, we flourish as an individual and we find our self in harmony with others. But, when we are alienated, we are at lost as we do not know our self. The lost of our self-worth could lead us to love our self less and care less for others, too. As we lose our values, we lose our self, so we must go back and find our center -- that of what we hold dear the most.   

Should we center our life on someone? Not at any person in this world is worth to become the center of our life.  Instead, we should set our eyes on far greater things above, for everything in this world is fleeting in time.

Increasing Your Self-Worth

Self-worth is an abstract value that you place on your self. Other's may see you differently, or not even worth anything, but do remember that self-worth is how you see yourself and how you add value to it. Because we are social individuals, the way we appraise our worth is greatly influenced by what others see or think about us. How do you exactly increase your self-worth?

This is so difficult when everyone else says something different about you and so demeaning to your self-esteem. There can be those things contradicting to how you exactly see your self. This conflict will definitely affect not only your relationship to others but the way you see your self. Life coaches have several tips to help those, who do not seem to understand their own worth, manage their anxieties and gain more in appraising their worth. Doing so is a process:

First, know that you have value - your existence may be a question to you because of your regret on your circumstance right now. You might be bothered by your knowledge of 'perfection', 'fulfillment' and 'successes' of others. The very fact that you are trying to see your self on other's images that you perceive is not contributing any to your self worth. While life circumstances seem to unfold in a series of coincidences, serendipity, accidents, mishaps or ill-fortunes; your life and you are part of a greater symphony or scheme of things.

In the most pressing times, the worth of a person is more appreciated by doing the littlest but noble things. Between a filthy business tycoon and a dirt-clodded street sweeper, the latter has more value because he keeps the street clean of the garbage the businessman is never interested of collecting. Many of the geniuses in the world have actually failed so many times before they succeeded on doing something the societies accepted as excellent.

Second, see and acknowledge your situation - You are where you are because you have value in that situation, that situation may not be what you have chosen, but you have choice to be in another situation. You may not be able to choose your parents or your siblings, but as you are part of that family, you have a pre-existing value in that relationship. This value comes in how you fulfill expected roles and how you demonstrate valued norms in that relationship. Denying your situation because you do not want to be identified with it is a denial of your self.

Where you find your self now is where your value is measured and expected to be utilized to contribute to every member of that relationship. Everyone will have to find him self in a different situations which expect different things. As you identify your self with the situation, you have to adapt to it as you prove your worth in meeting the expectations exacted from what you can do. Your worth, wherever you are, will be appreciated in what you can contribute to its betterment.

Third, you can do more than what you can think of - It is defeating to be merely compliant without exceeding the expectations. Beating the deadline, doing jobs routinely, strictly complying to requirements and the like are but evidences of what you can do as normally as you can. But what is normal is just average, and what is average is often mediocre. Because you do not find self-gratification and fulfillment in doing the ordinary, you do not find what ever your doing worthy to affect your self-worth.

While you acknowledge your situation, you also have to understand that you are capable of going beyond what you can ordinarily do. You are capable of learning to do things more strategically and you have the potentials to think creatively and so add a premium to whatever you can do. When given deadlines, you can actually turn your work in advance, when asked to yield an output of 10% you can deliver, twice three times or more of that.

Fourth, be an influence to others and understand their influence in you - Our self-concept or how we see our selves are permeable in its nature. The human psyche is as acqueous as we are changed in our interactions and communication with other people. To withstand the external influence of others on you, you have to be stronger to influence them instead. You need to find your voice and let your voice be heard as you consider to listen to others' voices. Only with that distinct voice that you can be identified and so be listened at.

It is most appreciated that you can be emphatic, eager to learn from others' views and be critical of the ideas that you share. You should be able to tell what you think in ways that will not dishearten anyone but instead affirm them. You would need to know how others think, decide and behave, so you would know how to deal with them appropriately. To influence others does not mean that you should be stricken with egotism; instead you should be able to share something that others will find valuable and life-changing.

Lastly, believe and become - Believing that you have worth and that you can do something is not just a wishful thinking or a hope that someone can grant you. To believe that you are valuable means to show that you are worthy and that you can deliver beyond other's expectations. Neither should you brag about how you see your self and what you have done. Other people will have to speak of that for you.

To become a person of value, you have to begin by believing that you are valuable and then you need to improve by yourself. You have to be in control of your life as you would with your emotions, your thoughts and your behavior. Each day that you should wake up and face your daily life, you have to be taking every day a challenge for you to be better.